


it wasn't

by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, please take care when reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 04:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16401518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/hipgrab
Summary: He shakes his head slowly, his heart pounding. “She wasn’t...pregnant.”“She was.”





	it wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags and please take care when reading. <3

The apartment is a mess.

He’d thrown things when Rey walked out, and he still hasn’t bothered to pick them up. It’s been two weeks and his stuff is still all over the floor, the dents in the wall a reminder of his anger. 

He’s staring at one of those dents, remembering the litany of curses that had fallen from his lips when he’d made it, when his phone rings.

It’s Rose, which...surprises him. Rose is Rey’s friend, not Ben’s. He only has Rose’s number because of that one time they went to a festival and Rey’s phone died so she had to text Rose from his phone. Thinking about that festival makes his throat tighten.

He swipes the button to accept the call. “Hello?”

“Ben? It’s Rose. Tico.” 

“Yeah.”

He can hear her take a deep breath. “Look, this isn’t easy to say, but, um...Rey had...a miscarriage.”

Ben...doesn’t know how to react to that. “A miscarriage.”

“Yeah.”

He shakes his head slowly, his heart pounding. “She wasn’t...pregnant.”

“She was.” Rose’s voice gets tiny. “She found out a few days ago. And now…” A small sigh. “Listen, I was gonna let her tell you on her own terms, but she’s...not in a good place right now. I really think she needs you.”

He finds himself standing up, blood roaring in his ears. “I’ll be there.” He ends the call, swinging wildly around his apartment. His jeans and t-shirt are ratty, but he doesn’t need to look presentable--he just needs to be present. Running his hand through his hair and deciding it isn’t horrifically greasy, he pulls on his tennis shoes and then bolts out the door. He runs the entire way to Rey’s apartment.

Pregnant. Rey was pregnant. And now she’s not. 

Had she planned to get an abortion? Had she planned to keep the baby? Had she planned on telling him at all? Does it even matter now?

He’s sweating and breathless when he gets to Rey’s. He uses the key he still has to let himself in. Rose comes out of the bedroom; seeing Ben, she nods and retreats to the kitchen. Ben goes to the bedroom, sucking in a breath when he sees Rey curled up on her bed, back to him. She twists her head to look over her shoulder.

Ben’s heart breaks.

Her face is red and streaked with tears, her eyes glassy and pained. Pressed to her stomach is a heating pad.

“Ben,” she whimpers.

He hurls himself at the bed, wrapping his arms around Rey and pulling her tight against him. He buries his face in her neck, can feel her shaking with sobs. 

“Rose told me,” he mumbles. “Rey, I’m so sorry…”

She cries for a while, trying and failing to talk. He just holds her tighter, nuzzling the back of her head and waiting until she’s ready.

It’s a long time before she can speak. When she does, her voice is squeaky. 

“I didn’t even know...what I wanted to do,” she says, hitching on a sob. “I was gonna tell you, and then…”

He breathes deeply. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I wanted that baby,” she admits in a hushed tone. “I knew as soon as I found out.”

Dimly, Ben feels himself begin to cry. 

“And I lost it.” She sniffles. “I lost the baby before I could tell you or think about the future or...anything.”

Ben kisses her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What can I do?”

She turns in his arms, wriggling until her chest is pressed to his. “Just hold me,” she whispers. 

Ben does. It’s all he can do. He just wishes he could do more.

  
  



End file.
